Does the Wedding Band Go on First?
Now that you’ve found the perfect bridal set for your soon-to-be fiance, you might be wondering what goes first — the wedding band or engagement ring. With so much conflicting information floating around out there, it can be hard for a fella to figure out.
And someday, you might even have an eternity ring to throw into the mix to mark a marital milestone, like a first (or fiftieth) anniversary. That can add to the confusion about which ring goes on first and how sets like this should (or could) be worn.
If you’re trying to determine whether the wedding ring or engagement ring goes on first, you’re in the right place! Let’s take a closer look at what tradition dictates and some modern alternatives that might be a better fit for your personal preferences.
A Time-Honored Tradition Is Wedding Ring First
Wearing the wedding band first hails back to Ancient Egypt. The Egyptians believe in something called the “vein of love” (or vena amoris) that goes from the left ring finger directly to the heart. Ancient Egyptians believed that wearing a wedding ring on this finger signified the everlasting love and commitment of a marriage. Obviously, modern science does not support this particular theory, but the tradition remains despite the “vein of love” being a myth.
The idea is that you wear the wedding band to symbolize your love and devotion for eternity closest to your heart. During the wedding, it’s common to move the engagement ring to the right hand during the ceremony and then back to the left ring finger once you’re married and the wedding ring is in its proper place as the first ring on the fourth finger of your left hand.
A More Recent Tradition Is Engagement Ring First
Rings: The Amore set
More recently, many brides have decided to ditch tradition and put their engagement ring on first instead of their wedding band. There’s nothing wrong with wearing the rings this way. The logic behind it is a woman wears the wedding ring set in the order they were received. Since the engagement ring comes first, it makes sense that it is worn at the top of the finger, with the wedding band snuggled up beneath it after the wedding ceremony. There’s symbolism in this as well, alluding to the promises made with the engagement ring and the wedding ring, bringing on the fulfillment of those promises you’ve made to your bride.
The Non-Traditional Route
Some brides elect to wear the wedding ring on one hand, usually the left ring finger, and the engagement ring on the other, usually the right hand. This could be because the rings are not a set and, therefore, don’t match well, or it could be because your bride-to-be doesn’t like wearing multiple rings on one finger and “stacking” them.
Sometimes, deciding how to wear rings is a matter of comfort. Some women prefer wearing their engagement rings on top, especially when they have high settings or intricate designs that could snag. Bulky rings may be uncomfortable to stack on the same finger, too, which may lead her to wear her rings on different fingers or different hands. And, of course, there’s nothing wrong with choosing a non-traditional way to wear rings as a matter of personal preference. Again, there’s no law that says wedding and engagement rings MUST be worn a certain way.
Whatever the reasoning, there’s nothing wrong with wearing them this way. It’s just not quite as common. Some brides find their wedding ring so dazzling that they don’t want to detract from it in any way!
It’s not always a question of whether the wedding band is on top or bottom. Sometimes, it’s a question of which finger and which hand. Another non-traditional way to wear engagement rings and wedding bands is by alternating when they are worn.
Perhaps the wedding ring is extremely valuable, whereas the engagement ring is less of a fiscal investment. Your bride might prefer to only wear the wedding band on special occasions to keep it as safe as possible, and wear her engagement ring the rest of the time for daily wear.
Some people even choose to wear placeholder rings instead of wearing their “real” wedding band or engagement ring. These placeholders are often less expensive than the real thing, making them a safer option to wear when traveling. They come in a variety of materials, but many people choose silicone rings as placeholders. This is especially true among people who work with their hands, as silicone is safer than metal rings to wear when operating machinery.
What About Eternity Rings?
Eternity rings are usually given later in marriage, once a couple reaches a special milestone. It could be the arrival of a first child, your first anniversary, or the day your first child graduates from high school. These are monumental moments in the lives of couples, and eternity rings are meant to mark those moments of love with remembrance.
Many women choose to wear their eternity rings on their left-hand ring finger along with their bridal set, while other women choose to wear their eternity rings on the right hand. Some say they should be worn on the middle finger, while others don’t really care either way. There aren’t any set traditions when it comes to eternity bands, so there’s plenty of freedom to make up your own management ring rules. Go with whatever is most comfortable for you since eternity ring placement is more about personal choice than tradition.
Ring: The Promise
The fourth finger of the left hand is traditionally reserved for bridal jewelry, but there is no law stating that you have to stick to that placement in order for your marriage to be valid. There are always those brides who choose to wear their engagement rings and wedding bands on whatever finger they want, whether it’s a wedding band, an engagement ring, an eternity ring, or something else. Thereby thumbing their noses at all hints of traditionalism as they blaze new trails into marital etiquette. Keep in mind, too, that in some cultures, it’s tradition to wear wedding jewelry on the right hand instead of the left. There’s really no right or wrong answer unless you are a firm advocate of Western tradition. If tradition is your jam, rules follow.
Final Thoughts
So, does the wedding band go on first? Why yes, yes it does. All else is relative.
If you’re not concerned with tradition, feel free to wear your bridal jewelry like any other piece of jewelry — however you see fit. As long as it’s comfortable and suits your personal style, there’s no need to worry about wearing your special symbol of love the “right” way. Whether you put it on first on your wedding day or put it on after your engagement ring, it’s all about telling your love story in the way that feels most comfortable and authentic to you. There is nothing wrong with creating your own wedding traditions!