Who Buys the Man's Wedding Ring?
It's a valid question — who buys the man's wedding band? A century ago that would have been a non-question because back then most Western men simply didn't wear them. Even 70 years ago it would still have been cause for heated debate because we lived in an age of patriarchy.
During those times, not only were men thought of as "in control," but they also bore more fiscal responsibility. That basically meant most men would have been offended if a woman had to buy a groom’s wedding band for them.
Fortunately, as time has passed and humanity has become more enlightened, customs have changed. Traditions have evolved. Society's perceptions have shifted, as have people's expectations.
In today’s world, there are now several scenarios that have become commonplace when buying men’s wedding rings. There’s no perfect answer here. It’s really up to the soon-to-be-married couple. Each couple must decide for themselves which option works best for them.
History and Evolution of a Man’s Wedding Band
The tradition of men wearing wedding rings has evolved significantly over the past century. While an engagement ring has long been a symbol of commitment for women, men’s wedding rings are a relatively recent addition to wedding traditions. This shift reflects changing social norms and the desire for both partners to visibly display their marital status.
Today, the groom’s wedding band is considered just as important as the bride’s wedding ring, symbolizing a mutual commitment to the marriage. The style of men's wedding rings has also evolved, with options ranging from classic gold bands to modern designs incorporating various metals and gemstones. As couples plan their wedding ceremony, choosing the perfect wedding ring for both partners has become an integral part of the preparations.
Still, there’s some debate about who buys the groom his wedding ring. Ultimately, it comes down to personal preference.
Go the Traditional Route
Both women and men wear wedding rings as a sign of eternal love and commitment to one another. If a man is a traditionalist, he may choose to buy his own wedding ring, as well as the bride's wedding band. Some guys may find that they want to personally choose a specific style and design when shopping for men’s wedding rings. It can also be for financial reasons as well if your partner earns less than you. This stems from a time when most women were of much lesser means than men. It’s also the more logical choice, especially if you are a man who has a substantially higher income level than your fiancée. There’s no need for her to spend money she can’t afford.
Go the Individual Route
In some cases, especially when both the bride and groom have very specific expectations, each will buy his or her own ring. If you are only looking at modern men’s wedding bands and are very particular, you may want to be the one who selects your ring. This happens often with people who know exactly what they want out of life and aren’t afraid to go after it. In another scenario, many modern couples who make plenty of their own money and want to keep their finances separate may decide to make their ring purchases separate, too. Even if they plan to buy matching wedding bands, each partner may prefer paying for their own wedding bands as a means of splitting the wedding expenses.
Go the Non-Traditional Route
Seventy years ago, people would have frowned upon a man who would allow a woman to buy his wedding ring. After all, who should buy the man's wedding band, other than himself?
Fortunately, our society has grown in its thinking. While we still value success and money, the importance of establishing social classes has diminished. People of means have little interest in status. Women are more successful than ever, and it’s no longer an admission of incompetence if a man accepts a wedding ring bought for him by his future wife.
The reality is that deciding who buys the man's wedding band boils down to who has the money to do it. If a woman has the means and desire to buy a wedding ring for the groom, and the groom is fine with it, so be it. There is no reason to let tradition or cultural constraints stand in the way of a happy marriage.
Exchanging rings during a wedding ceremony symbolizes a couple’s commitment to each other. Whether it’s a simple gold band or an intricately designed ring, the groom’s wedding band holds just as much significance as the bride’s. With that in mind, it’s easy to see that who buys the wedding bands isn’t nearly as important as the meaning behind exchanging them.
Buy Rings for Each Other
Among progressive couples of similar financial means, you could always agree to buy a wedding band for each other. This practice is not without significance. Each ring is basically a gift to the other person. That means it’s given with love and worn as a symbol of your future marriage. On a deeper level, it also means that both the man and woman are willing to accept what the other has to offer, without letting their egos get in the way.
Think of it as a statement of equality in the relationship. There is no expression of dominance or control because everything works both ways, including wedding ring purchases.
Shop for Rings Together
When deciding who is going to purchase a man’s wedding band, one trend has become increasingly prevalent.
Instead of each person buying a ring on their own and hoping the other one likes it, many couples today are choosing to shop for wedding rings together. The two of you may even go for matching wedding band sets that are made from the same metal.
While it might not have quite the same romantic appeal, there’s definitely an argument to be made for practicality. By jewelry shopping together, each person will have some input about what their wedding and engagement ring will look like. Both of you can explore different styles and designs together, and choose rings that suit you both. That way, you guys can review your options as a couple and choose a design and style that will fit with your expectations.
Considerations When Choosing a Man’s Wedding Band
When shopping for the groom’s wedding ring, there are several factors to consider beyond whose bank account the payment comes out of. Choosing the correct ring size is crucial for comfort and fit. The groom should visit a jeweler to be sized or use a reliable at-home ring sizer.
Metal choice is another important consideration. Traditional yellow gold, white gold, rose gold, silver, titanium and tungsten are all popular options for guys. Some couples opt for a men’s wedding ring that complements the bride’s engagement ring and wedding band to create a cohesive look. Others prefer a distinct style that reflects the groom’s personal taste.
Comfort should be a priority, too, since most men will wear their wedding ring every day for the rest of their lives. Some guys prefer a slimmer band, while others prefer a wider, more substantial band. If you’d like to add a personal touch, consider engravings. Your wedding date or a meaningful phrase can take an already special piece of jewelry to the next level.
Wrapping Up
In this day and age, there really shouldn’t even be a question of who buys the wedding ring for the groom. The true question should be whether you love that person enough to be with them forever, through better and worse. This piece of jewelry is just a symbol of that love and commitment.
If the answer is a confident "Yes,” it doesn’t matter who pays for what for the wedding day. The choice really is yours as a couple.
Twenty years from now, nobody (except perhaps you) will even remember. But everybody who sees you wearing your wedding band will know that your commitment remains strong and true. We call that the mark of a great marriage.